Cillian

Hey I'm cillian
Age: 29
Background: Former Healthcare Assistant, Assistant Deputy Manager, Band 4 Assistant Practitioner, and Student Nurse (Dual-Trained Adult General & Mental Health)

I spent years dedicating my life to caring for others in the health and social care sector—a passion rooted in my love for travel, joy, and helping people. However, my trajectory changed dramatically due to a complex journey with multiple chronic illnesses, including irritable hip syndrome, IBS, cervical hypomobility, trigeminal nerve disorders, anxiety, depression, and most recently, stage 3b/4 chronic kidney disease and daily catheterisation. After years of fighting against medical dismissal to get proper care, I share my story to highlight the realities of living with complex chronic conditions, mental health struggles, and the power of patient self-advocacy.

My Story: Fighting to Be Heard
For as long as I can remember, I loved living life to the fullest. I was joyful, energised, and passionate about traveling and discovering the world. That passion for life naturally translated into my work, where I dedicated myself to healthcare and serving others. Over the years, I worked my way up from a Care Assistant to Senior Care Assistant, Team Leader, Assistant Deputy Manager, and Interim Home Manager in residential care. Later, I moved into the hospital setting as a Band 4 Assistant Practitioner and Student Nurse. I was just six months away from registering as a dual-trained NMC Registered Nurse in both Adult General and Mental Health Nursing—a career milestone I had worked tirelessly for.

However, behind my dedication to my patients, my own body was waging a long and complex battle. My health challenges began early with irritable hip syndrome in 2001, followed by irritable bowel syndrome in 2014, and managing anxiety and depression from 2017 onward. In 2018, severe chronic pain took hold when I was diagnosed with cervical hypomobility and trigeminal nerve disorders.

The physical pain, combined with the loss of my nursing career as my conditions forced me to leave university, took a heavy toll. Navigating chronic pain while feeling unseen led to some of the darkest times in my life, including suicide attempts in 2018 and 2026.

A major turning point in my medical journey came when I was continually dismissed by my initial GP despite living with unbearable, life-altering chronic pain. Knowing something was deeply wrong, I refused to accept being brushed aside. I took the step to change health centres and reported the GP to the General Medical Council (GMC). That decision marked the beginning of finally getting the medical attention, care, and diagnostic clarity I desperately needed.

Now, as I turn 30 this September, my daily reality involves managing Stage 3b Chronic Kidney Disease (with Stage 4 pending) and performing intermittent self-catheterisations 12 to 16 times a day.

While my life looks vastly different from the one I envisioned when I was completing my nursing training, my background in healthcare and my journey through chronic illness have taught me the profound importance of self-advocacy, endurance, and honesty about the realities of living with hidden, long-term conditions and disabilities that no one can see from afar.